Hello Lovelies!
If you didn't see yesterday's post and the start of this series about my new year's motto of "Everything is Figureoutable" then click HERE
Looking at more ways I want my life to be better in 2023 has to start with EATING and SLEEPING.
I am someone who really needs eight hours of sleep to function. Spiderman could get by with less and never seemed to show any signs of being cranky, but I sure do.
My days back at LC were a blur of sugar highs and lows (Sugarpuff Cereal Sandwiches, anyone?) and chronic exhaustion from rehearsals until midnight and then studying until the wee hours of the morning. I felt really ratty for five whole years because of too much crappy eating and not enough sleep. At times I was awful to be around, but Spiderman somehow saw through my RATTITUDE (another portmanteau word I love) and married me anyway.
Unfortunately, my go-to activities when I am stressed are COMFORT EATING and DOOMSCROLLING. Though (to make myself sound like an old codger) they didn't have phones back in my day to waste time on. Now they do. The more depressed or anxious I am they more I eat sugary crap and stay up past my bedtime. Even when my body is screaming "For Frith's sake, just go to bed!" I am still lying on the sofa in a state of panic shovelling food into my yawning gob scrolling through my phone without actually looking at anything while my bleary red eyes widen to hold themselves open from the fear that if I let them close I will fall asleep or a Weeping Angel will come and get me.
Why has it been like this? When Spiderman died I found it very hard to be in bed by myself. It felt very empty and there was no comfort. Because sleeping with another warm body is comfort. We always slept touching. I was the little spoon and if he rolled over in the night our backs instinctively sought the other's warmth and so to sleep alone was cold in every sense of the word. In the early months after his death I avoided going to bed like a frenzied toddler who desperately needs a nap but instead runs around in a circle for three hours. I got a body pillow which did help a bit--it gave the sensation of someone else in our King Sized bed. But it wasn't him.
The other issue was I was buying and eating lots of junk food. Vegans have junk food too and I tried it all. And the problem with the junk food and getting overtired is that by the time I was so shattered I could not stay awake a moment longer then I felt I was too tired to wash my face or brush my teeth for fear of waking myself back up. I paid for that when my skin became dull and spotty and I got a cavity.
I am lucky that on most days I don't have to be at work until mid-day. But this meant after dragging myself to bed at around 2 a.m. and then taking ages to actually fall asleep (thank you sugar) while having a mild panic attack that I was still awake at 3 a.m. that when my alarm went off I could not get up. I reached for my phone and would snooze in 15-30 minute intervals until I was in danger of being late for work. Then I would come home like a zombie and the house got out of control and there was never any time or energy to tidy (see yesterday's problem) This just couldn't go on.
So what did I do? I made myself get a sleep routine. I thought about what I needed--some calming voice to help direct me to relaxation and some soothing background noises. I tried various sounds and lots didn't work for me. White Noise was like nails on a chalkboard but the lower toned Brown Noise was just right. I found everything I needed on Spotify and made a playlist.
Here is what I do every night:
10:00pm, no more phone or tablet. I go wash my face and brush my teeth. I wash the dishes so the kitchen will be clean when I wake up.
10:30pm, get into pyjamas and turn the overhead light off and only use the lamp to make me gradually get used to less light.
10:30pm to 11:30pm, read for pleasure. (This will bring me to the second thing on my list today--see below).
11:30pm, rub a few drops of lavender oil into the soles of my feet--especially up between the big toe and adjacent toe) and put my socks back on
11:35pm, set the alarm for 7:30am, plug in my phone, turn on the Sleep Playlist, turn off the light and go to sleep.
I have done this now every night for one week and I cannot believe the difference in my energy. I wake up easily with the alarm and have time to do so many things before I go to work so that when I come home at the end of the day all of the "need to be dones" are complete and so I can concentrate on the "want to be dones."
2. READ
This seems crazy because I am such a bookworm, but the more depressed or anxious I am the less I read. I can't seem to focus, the words swim before my eyes, I can't remember what I read on the last paragraph and what should be lovely becomes horrible. The phone calls to me like a Siren calls to the sailor luring me into mindlessly scrolling because it means I don't have to engage my brain. I spent most of 2020 furious because I had all that time at home when I didn't have to go to work and I couldn't read anything without crying from frustration.
It has been AMAZING to read again. So far in one week I have read two and half books. And it is just making it part of my routine. Booking it in, if you'll excuse the pun.
3. VEGAN/COOK ONCE EAT TWICE/FREEZE
Having more energy because I am sleeping better means I will make better food choices. Already I am craving less unhealthy stuff. As my old fridge/freezer died right before Christmas, I was forced to buy a new one. This involved a lot of "Everything is figureoutable" mantras because I had to choose a new appliance, order it online, schedule a delivery, move and clean out the old one so the new one could take its place. Now that I have a bigger, better, more beautiful (OK, this last one is less important but I love the fact that I chose a black appliance and all my photos of FAMILY and FRAMILY really pop) I am working hard to do meal prep in both the fridge and freezer to make my life a bit easier (see tomorrow's post)
Are you struggling with unhealthy eating or poor sleep? If you are, then I hope this will help you.
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