Wednesday, 6 October 2010

Sewing is my bag

I love that expression. Actors pretending to be hippies in old Dragnet episodes would say something like that. My favourite speech by a spaced out hippy in her flower shop called The Cry of Sweet Pleasures and Stems of Dear Love was on the Dragnet episode where the purse snatcher turned out to be a dog. At this point the Amazing Spiderman would say jokingly, “Thanks for ruining it for me!” but either you are a mega Dragnet fan as I am (I even have a replica 714 badge!) and you already know this episode or you’re some unfeeling bastard who doesn’t care.  This is the scene:

Hippy: I’m not like some. I dig the Fuzz. After all you are like the flowers yourselves. You have to live too.
Friday: Did you report your purse stolen by a dog?
Hippy: No. The Friendly Fuzz in the black and off white wheels said he’d make a report. That’s his thing.
Gannon: Thing?
Hippy: We all have a bag and in every bag we have a thing. My bag is flowers. My thing is finding homes for them. He said it was a dog. I didn’t say that.
Friday: If you didn’t say that it was a dog, why would the officer report that it was?
Hippy: He who steals my purse, steals my heart for he is obviously in more need than I am and my heart goes out to those who need --for I have no needs, save to be needed.
Friday: Well, that’s a real gentle philosophy lady and if what’s you feel why did you report the theft of your purse?
Hippy: But I didn’t, Love. See, when the creature made off with it I had no bread to pay the bus driver and he didn’t want to let me ride, see - collecting fares is his thing. Well, I felt I should ride and pay later. Well he called the Man to put me off the bus and that’s when I explained to the Friendly Fuzz.
Gannon: Then you didn’t register a complaint?
Hippy: I never complain.
Friday: Well there are women who have complained that a dog snatched their purse.
Hippy: Just like all creatures, there are guide dogs and misguided dogs.
Friday: Maybe you can help us find this misguided one.
Hippy: No, Love. I must stay here in the Cry of Sweet Pleasures and Stems of Dear Love.
Friday: Well all we want is a description of the dog.
Hippy: Well it had a tail, but so do ponies and cows and alligators so that’s really no help, is it Love?
Gannon: What about colour?
Hippy: How drab the world would be without colour. Yes it did have a colour.
Friday: What colour, Miss?
Hippy: Brown, black and yellow.
Gannon: How large would you say it was?
Hippy: Oh, a size two.
Gannon: A size two what?
Hippy: My daughter is a size two. She’s about that high. 
Gannon: Now is that standing on its hind legs?
Hippy: Not as it was running.
Gannon: Did it stand on its hind legs to take your purse?
Hippy: I don’t know. The lovely creature approached, said something and when I turned it was running off with my purse.
Gannon: (giving meaningful glance to Friday) It said something?
Hippy: Of course. It said “Excuse me.”
Gannon: (more meaningful glances) The dog talked?
Hippy: Yes, Love. In its own words of course.
Friday: What words?

Brilliant, no? The point this huge digression has taken is that my bag is sewing and making things creatively/cheaply is my thing. The backpack is nearly completed so stay tuned tomorrow to see the amazing, colourful bag! I will complete the last bits tonight and Spiderman will kindly take photos.  I’ll just go polish my badge.

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