There’s been a bit of an incident.
A squirty sort of incident.
A splashy sort of incident.
A splattery sort of incident.
A running around and shouting expletives that begin with S incident.
1. I wasn’t wearing my glasses
2. The light was poor so I brought it to the kitchen to look by the window.
3. It turned out I was trying read the part of the instructions that appear in French.
That statement is:
I am a bit of a dumbass.