Wednesday, 18 December 2013

Is this the way to Oriontar?

Have you ever heard of Oriontar? Surely you have. It’s where the three kings come from. You know, we three kings of Oriontar.

Yesterday I received a beautiful hand drawn Christmas card from a sweet young girl in my class. She is very clever and one of the best writers we’ve got. Her story about being trapped in a snow globe was a real page turner. 

The card had a funny picture and the subversive lyrics to this familiar song:

We three kings of Oriontar

Bearing gifts we travel afar…

One in a scooter

One in a car

Oh darn! I don’t know where to park!

It made me laugh out loud as that is a silly variation of the song that I had not been previously acquainted with. But I loved with all my heart the word Oriontar. Well, think about it, that’s what it sounds like. Orient are…Oriontar. This may be the best mistake ever. It also came with an apology in case the card was offencive which just shows you what a lovely polite girl she is. I assured her that I found it hilarious.

The other British version that I know was taught to me by a funny young lad who is now in year seven. We used to tell each other jokes and try to stump the other person with riddles.

I taught him to sing Ren and Stimpy’s We Wish You a Hairy Chest Wig (and a bucket of beards) for which I’m sure his parents were eternally grateful to me and in return he taught me this one:

We three kings of Orient are

One in a taxi

One in a car

One on a scooter

Beeping his hooter

Smoking a big cigar!

I just love the Britishness of it. Beeping his hooter. In the classic book Wind in the Willows, Toad beeps the hooter of his motor car and you will never guess the sound it makes. Go on. Have a think. You ready for it? When Toad beeps his hooter it says POOP! POOP! Ah, those wacky Brits.

The version I grew up singing (this song really does lend itself ever so nicely to parody) was this one:

We three kings of Orient are

Smoking on a rubber cigar.

One was loaded

It exploded….

We two kings of Orient are!

Oh how we laughed at that when I was a child.  Back in the 70‘s that was cutting edge comedy. Or so we thought.

So here’s to a lovely holiday.

May we laugh.

 May we sing.

May we go to Oriontar.



  1. Deck the halls with Boston Charlie
    Walla Walla Wash and Kalamazoo
    Nora's freezing on the trolley
    la la la la la la (forgot the words after this)

  2. I love how subversive you are! (and passing it on as well!)