There is this *thing* I like to do for fun.
It involves rhyming words.
As an only child I often had to entertain myself and this is just one of the ways I did it. When I wasn’t making up stories about undersea kingdoms and telling them to my bemused bus driver or writing and directing plays all about Oz with me starring as Dorothy or teaching kids at school to be pickpockets for 25 cents a lesson based on scenes from the film Oliver! that I had seen on the telly (yes, these are all things I *actually* did as a child) then I was rhyming.
Spiderman likes to point out that Sybil’s mother, who was paranoid schizophrenic, used to like to rhyme as well. You remember Sybil don’t you? She was so abused by her mother that Sybil split into a dozen personalities to cope. It’s true. I saw it on telly. Although, apparently all that multiple personality stuff has been revealed to be a hoax (except the bit about her mum being mentally ill—that bit was true).
Bleat dreams--dreams about sheep and the noises they make
Cleat dreams--dreams of spiky shoes footballers wear
Crete dreams--dreams of a small Greek island or a friend from high school named LeCrete, if you happen to have had one (which I did)
Cheat dreams--dreams of winning dishonestly
DEET dreams--dreams of mosquito repellent
Feet dreams--dreams about…feet (obviously)
Fleet dreams--dreams about a group of boats
Greet dreams--dreams of waving hello to people
Heat dreams--dreams of being too warm
Keat(s) dream--dreams of a Romantic Victorian poet (not to be confused with Shelley, Byron or Coleridge dreams)
Meet dreams--dreams of running into old friends (see Greet dreams)
Meat dream--dreams of being a carnivore (a nightmare for vegans!)
Peat dreams--dreams of bags of compost
Pete dreams--dreams of your least favourite member of the Monkees. Tork rhymes with dork for a reason.
Parakeet dream--dreams of small chirpy birds
Sweet dreams--dreams of small individually wrapped chocolates
Seat dream--dreams of where to put your bottom
Tweet dreams-- dreams of the noises small chirpy birds make (see Parakeet dreams)
Teat dreams--dreams of milking a cow
Treat dreams--dreams of rewarding yourself with a bit of chocolate (see Sweet dreams)
Tweat dreams--dreams of rewarding yourself with a bit of chocolate if you are Jonathan Ross or Barbara Walters.
VEET dreams--dreams of using a stinky depilatory cream
Wheat dreams--dreams of bread (a nightmare for celiacs)
Wasn’t that fun?
Free entertainment for hours guaranteed, I promise.
Spiderman stop rolling your eyes at me.
Now go and rhyme it for yourself!