Crafts from the Crooked Magician, part two

Or

How to make a bottle of Liquid of Petrifaction

 

When everyone else was admiring the just finished powder of life, Ojo snuck in a few extra brains into the inanimate body of the Patchwork Girl. Then Margolotte went and added a few more, but Ojo was afraid to say anything for fear of getting into trouble.

 

Then when Dr Pipt was bringing Scraps the Patchwork. Girl to life, it went horribly wrong.

 

But suddenly the Patchwork Girl threw up one arm, which knocked the bottle of powder from the crooked man’s hand and sent it flying across the room. Unc Nunkie and Margolotte were so startled that they both leaped backwards and bumped together, and Unc’s head joggled the shelf above them and upset the Liquid of Petrifaction……They stood motionless and stiff as marble statues, in exactly the positions they were in when the Liquid struck them.  

 

 Well, Unc Nunkie and Dame Margolotte were turned into marble statues by the Liquid of Petrifaction and the rest of the powder of life sadly spilled on the Phonograph who from then onwards followed everyone round playing  records and dancing a jog. Most annoying.

 

 

The rest of the story is that seemingly impossible quest (stay tuned for more about that later) that Ojo the Unlucky must go on to find all the ingredients needed for the antidote to save Unc Nunkie from being a statue forever. 

 

More crafts! Hoorah!

 I decided to make a bottle of Liquid of Petrifaction.  I had a bottle that used to contain rose water that was just right for this craft, plus my standard technique of torn parchment paper and a sharpie.

 

However….upon looking back at my book I was astounded to see that the word was not petrification but petrifaction.  My mum *always* read it to me as petrification and I, myself, *always* saw it as petrification and only because I stopped to check the spelling did I notice. I looked it up and they both mean the same thing so decided to go with being inauthentic (I know, I know…Oz purists don’t kill me) because that is the word that was in my heart. 

 

I added a few illustrations of marble statues (one male, one female) and a warning which reads Caution: do not spill.

 

I decided to fill it with blue liquid as the book does not say what colour it is and they are in Munchkin country. This the faze where Baum was writing that *everything* n each country was that colour (Munchkin=blue, Winkie=yellow, Quadling=red, Gillikin=purple, Emerald City=green) . So far in the story there has been a mention of blue peas, sweet milk with a delicate blue tint, a blue pudding with blue plums and a blue log in the fireplace.

 

So that’s my Oz crafts for a while. Stay tuned for another Oz post soon about the impossible journey of Ojo the Unlucky!

Crafts from the Crooked Magician

Or

How to make your own powder of life!

 

The Patchwork Girl of Oz is hands down, my favourite of the Oz books by L. Frank Baum. Not only is Scraps a most memorable character, but the plot is a cracking good one as well--the seemingly impossible quest. 

The story begins with Ojo the Unlucky and his monosyllabic uncle Unc Nunkie  called “The Silent One” visiting Dr Pipt, the Crooked magician, who is crooked in more ways than one. His is described by Baum like this:

 

He was really very crooked and Ojo wondered how he managed to do so many things with such a twisted body. When he sat down upon a crooked chair that had been made to fit him, one knee was under his chin and the other near the small of his back; but he was a cheerful man and his face bore a pleasant and agreeable expression.

 

He is also crooked in his dealings--magic is outlawed in Oz  and Dr Pipt knows this. Only Glinda the Good and the Wizard  are allowed. (The Wizard  was a humbug and at one point evil, but now is reformed and a proper magician). He makes an excuse that he is allowed to do it for himself or his household, but not for others or for a profession. Ozma puts a stop to this later.

 

He also previously had dealings with the old witch Mombi in The Marvellous Land of Oz. The Wizard (in his evil faze) kidnapped the Ozma, the rightful ruler of Oz, and gave her to Mombi who turned Ozma in a boy called Tip and used him as a servant. She visited Dr Pipt and traded some of her magic for a sample of powder of life which was used to bring Jack Pumpkinhead and the Sawhorse to life. 

 

Enough of the plot for now. On with the crafts!

 

When we went on holiday to Chichester, we ate jam out of these adorable little jars and so I saved back a few after breakfast and washed them out. I wanted to make a tiny jar of my own powder of life. I used my standard technique of printing a design onto parchment paper, then tearing the edges. I used a brown sharpie to lightly stain the edges of the torn paper and then I used a mixture of watered down white glue to stick it on. I also found this great looking eye on the www.thegraphicsfairy.com --check them out for the best free vintage clip art. Take a squinty.

 

 

 

Wanna know how to use it?

 

1. Sprinkle a bit on the inanimate object you intend to bring to life.

2. Lift your left hand and point your little finger upwards and say Weaugh!

3. Lift your right hand and  point your thumb upwards and say Teaugh!

4. Lift both hands a with fingers and thumb spread out and say Peaugh!

 

Back to the story.

 

The Crooked magician had foolishly given Mombi the witch his last bit of the powder of life and so had to make another batch so his wife Margolotte could bring the servant girl to life that she had made out of a patchwork quilt.

 

Making the powder of life is a lot of trouble. Dr. Pipt  had to spend six years stirring 4 kettles simultaneously --two with his hands and two with his feet.

Note: not having several years to waste (not to mention not owning 4 kettles) I opted to fill my jar with bicarbonate of soda.

 

That’s all for today. Stay tuned for the next instalment of Crafts from the Crooked Magician!

Pizza’s the food that sure to please…

….these Ninja’s are into pepperoni and cheese. Sorry, obscure Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle reference there. That is from my one of favourite songs (no seriously) from the first Ninja Turtle film sung by Partners in Kryme.  I love the giving away of the whole plot in the song lyrics the way that Sid and Marty Kroft used to do (Puffinstuff, anyone?) but also the lovely moral and rather Quakerly message of:

 When you stand

For what you believe in

And find the strength to

do what’s right

That’s Turtle Power.

Have you heard they are remaking the Ninja Turtles but are making them be from outer space? That is so wrong! Everyone knows it was the radioactive ooze in the sewer!

 

But anyway.

 

This is just your regular old pizza.

Red sauce

Red onions

Peppers

Mushrooms

Olives

Sweet corn (it’s a British thing)

And vegan mozzarella! 

 

Hells yeah! I found this recipe over on http://vedgedout.com

Fresh Moxarella Cheese:

This cheese stays in a “melted” type form until baked, and then it forms a nice crust, like dairy cheese does. It’s not intended to be eaten plain (like real dairy fresh mozzarella can). It’s also fairly salty to make it stand out in your recipes, if you prefer less salt, please feel free to reduce to 1/2 teaspoon, or less, but the flavor won’t be as pronounced.

• 1/4 C. raw cashews (soaked in water for several hours and then drained IF you don’t have a high powered blender)
• 1 C. hot water
• 2 T. + 1 t. tapioca starch
• 1 T. extra virgin olive oil (optional)
• 1 small garlic clove, minced
• 3/4 t. sea salt
• 1 t. fresh lemon juice

Method: Blend all ingredients together in a high speed blender until completely smooth, about 1 minute. Pour into a small saucepan and cook, stirring constantly over medium high heat. After a couple of minutes the mixture will start to look weird, like it’s curdling or separating. This is totally normal, reduce heat to medium and KEEP stirring so you don’t burn the cheese to the bottom of the pot. Keep cooking and stirring til really thick (about 2-3 more minutes) and the mixture becomes like a cohesive mass of melted dairy cheese and stretches like in the photo below. Remove from heat and let cool a bit while you assemble the pizzas.

p.s. Moxarella stores well in a sealed container in the fridge for a few days and can be used to make excellent grilled cheese sandwiches, mac and cheese, etc….

 

 It looked simple enough and made enough for 2 meals. I cooked it ahead of time to save time, refrigerated it and then plopped it on the pizza straight from the fridge.

 

It was surprisingly good. It reminded me of those balls of mozzarella made from Buffalo’s milk--which is also a kind of British thing. It was kinda bland but salty  just like mozzarella cheese made from animal milk, but it also had a stretchy quality to it.  The stretch was the coolest bit!

 

I firmly believe that compassion tastes better and discovering a way to eat something that tastes good, but doesn’t cause harm or distress to an animal is a win-win situation in my book.

 

Dairy cows go through something awful--they are dosed up with hormones and anti-biotics to make them grow at an unnaturally accelerated rate and then give them drugs to combat the diseases they get from living in their own filth. Most dairy cows have severe mastitis (infection of the udders) with open sores that leak pus into the milk.

 

They are serially impregnated by artificial insemination and then once they give birth, the milk that is supposed to be there for their baby is used to feed human beings. Doesn’t it ever strike you as odd that you are drinking the breast milk of a cow? The breast milk of another species? Human milk is for humans until they are weaned, cow’s milk is for calves. 

 

But also their baby is taken away from them (imagine ladies if your newborn was taken away from you) and there are hundreds upon thousands of documented cases of mother cows  and their calves calling out in agony and anguish for DAYS after being separated.

 

Female calves are then raised up to be milkers like their mothers and males are turned into veal. If you find the veal industry abhorrent, you need to know that by purchasing dairy products you contribute to the veal industry.

 

Lastly, cows have a natural life span of about 25 years, but in the intensive farming industry that is the standard, they are slaughtered by the age of four to five. Still just babies themselves, really. 

 

I cannot put my appetite before my conscience. In fact, the thought of suffering makes me lose my appetite completely. Why? Because I care. People do. We care deeply and no one wants to see another creature suffer. We love our pets, we would do anything for them. So why are some animals for loving and some for eating and wearing? Why have we, as a society, decided that some animals are worth caring about and others are not? Shouldn’t all life be sacred? Or is it a case of All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others?

 

Disclaimer: no animals were harmed in the making of this delicious pizza.

Thai pizza

Ever since we discovered the quick and ridiculously easy vegan and gluten free pizza crust recipe from Including Cake’s blog we’ve been trying to have more pizza.  We were remembering one we used to like to eat at Schlotsky's Deli all those years ago. It was a pizza made with slices of chickens, but the idea came to adapt it because it was the sauce and the crispy veg we liked the best. .

 

Instead of  using meat (which obviously we would not do) or using fried tofu (which we use in a stir fry and has a lovely crispy coating) I decided to go all vegetables. In hindsight, I could have even put on more vegetables, but I didn’t want to risk making it soggy.

 

This pizza came together in a snap. We use this recipe for our crust 
http://www.includingcake.com/home/cludingcake.com/2013/01/speedy-chia-pizza-crust.html
  but use whatever your favourite one is or go for a pre-made crust to save even more time.

 

Thai Pizza

One crust, precooked according to directions. Ours has to cook a few minutes before you add the sauce and toppings.

 

For sauce use your favourite peanut sauce. I make my own using a recipe from one of our favourite cookbooks Vegan on the Cheap (or Cheap-ass Vegan as Spiderman calls it) but you could totally use premade sauce to make it go even faster.

 

 

For toppings I used:

Sugar snap peas, cut into thirds

Red pepper rings

3 thinly sliced button mushrooms

Matchstick cut carrot

A few spring onions (plus their green tops)

 

That’s it! Continue cooking the crust according to the directions.

 

I had planned to use snow peas which are flat instead of sugar snaps which are 3D, but you know what? Sugar snaps were on sale for £1 a bag  whereas snow peas were £1.70. Plus there were enough sugar snaps (as the pizza didn’t use that many) to be veg on the side for another meal later in the week. Bonus. 

 Try this one today.

 

Unless of course you have a peanut allergy, then don’t.

 

Obviously.

Fig and Olive Flatbread

Whoa, Mama. This stuff is *good*. I discovered the best recipe for gluten free vegan flatbread from the blog of Including Cake.  http://www.includingcake.com/

 

I love that these are not drenched in  oil. Not that I am against oil, but GF vegan baking does tend to be rather oil heavy. These are made with soya yoghurt and come out light and pillow-y and delicious.

 

They are just a variation of her plain flatbread which we eat at least once a week. Spiderman says I am genetically incapable for cooking a recipe exactly as it says, but the only thing I did was double it because I knew one flatbread each simply would *not* be enough.

 

Here is the plain flatbread recipe: http://www.includingcake.com/home/cludingcake.com/2012/01/super-simple-gluten-free-flatbread.html

 

Fig and Olive Flatbread recipe: http://www.includingcake.com/home/cludingcake.com/2013/06/fig-and-olive-flatbread-gluten-free.html

 

How I did it with doubling:

 

Fig and Olive Flatbread

Preheat your oven to 200C/400F

Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

 

200g GF flour (could use regular flour) 200g flour is about 1.5 cups plus a TB more.

3 tsp baking powder

1 tsp xanthan gum (only if GF)

4 tsp balsamic vinegar (lovely vinegar!)

1.5 tsp dried rosemary

½ tsp dried thyme

2/3 cup plain yoghurt

¼ cup water

handful of olives, slices

2-large or 4 small fresh figs thinly sliced

(smoked) sea salt

 

1. Sift the flour and mix with dried herbs.

2. Add yoghurt, balsamic vinegar and water and stir until a sticky dough forms.

3. Using wet hands diving into 4 parts and flatten into circular patties approximately half an inch thick.

4. Gently press in the olives and figs

5. Spritz with olive oil and sprinkle with sea salt.

 

Bake for around 20 minutes until tops are golden and fruit is caramelised.

 

Eat and swoon.

Vinegar Whore

I admit it. I have a problem. My name is Spidergrrl and I am a Vinegar Whore. My pantry cannot cope with my ever evolving range of vinegars. I cannot be content with just one or two. Oh no. At present count I have seven. I had eight, but I finished off the last of the (rather expensive) fig vinegar last month. It was heavenly.

 

Here is a picture of my vinegar hoard. There are the basics, apple cider vinegar, white wine vinegar and red wine vinegar. There are the more speciality ones--sherry vinegar (bought recently for the Copycat M&S meal), rice vinegar (for Asian meals) and balsamic vinegar. There’s also a wee bottle of malt vinegar for when we have chips. Mmmm….salt and vinegar chips.

 

I used to buy a different kind of rice vinegar from Sainsbury, but they stopped carrying it so I had to look elsewhere. Waitrose had no less than six different kinds of rice vinegar--ones they were light, ones that were more acidic, ones that were dark and woodsy tasting. I was tempted to buy them all but our tiny, already overstuffed pantry would collapse in protest. 

 Maybe next time.

 

I really do use them all for different things--sweet and savoury. I use a Tablespoon of vinegar (balsamic for brownies and apple cider vinegar for blondies, Duck Flaps and Shut-Ups) in all my bar recipes to activate the baking powder.

 

I don’t feel I could do without any of them. You never know when you might be a vinegar shortage. There was a point when we both kept seeing apple cider vinegar on sale and impulsively picking it up. So we now have a standard joke about trying to add apple cider vinegar to every shopping list.

 

Just in case.

 Are you a vinegar fan? Are there any kinds I am missing that I need to try?

Copycat

As I said in my last post, M&S makes a whole range of healthy meal pots that sell for 2 for £3 which are perfect for a travel pack lunch--particularly now that we have our travel utensil bag.

 

When we were in Chichester we got to sample a few that we had never seen in our local shop. I had this one day and thought to myself, “I can make that at home.” So I did. I carefully saved the ingredient list and brought it home and put on my thinking cap.

 

This recipe relies on our favourite condiment Lingham’s Ginger Garlic Chilli Sauce. This stuff rocks my socks. It adds a huge depth of flavour to food, it has all recognisable ingredients (chilli (30%, ginger, 10%, garlic, 10%, sugar, vinegar, salt) and  no nasties like high fructose corn syrup. I don’t know if you can find this in other parts of the world but I’m sure you can find something comparable.

 

The first time I made it I followed the ingredients on the packet, but the second time I made it I added  chickpeas to the meal to make it more filling. There are no chickpeas in the photo.

Copycat M&S meal

 

1 ½ cups chickpeas (cook your own or use a tin--drain and rinse well if tinned)

1 cup frozen sweet corn

1 white onion, chopped

1 pepper, chopped

About 18 spears tenderstem broccoli (one packet)

1 carrot, cut into matchsticks

 

Preheat your oven to 200C/400F

 

1. Cover the sweet corn with boiling water for a few minutes, then drain and run under cold water and then squeeze out excess water with your hands.

2. Chop the stems from the broccoli. Save the florets on a bowl.

3. Put the chickpeas, sweet corn, onion, pepper and broccoli stems in a big roasting tin and drizzle with 1 TB oil. Don’t do the carrots yet--save them for the end so they stay crisp.

 

Roast for 10 minutes then remove the pan and scoot everything over to the side a bit (leaving about ¼ of the space empty) and put the florets on the ¼ that you have cleared. Spritz or drizzle with a little oil. The broccoli just gets crisper if it has it’s own space.

 

4. Put it back in the oven for 18 minutes more.

 

Meanwhile make the sauce.

 

Sauce

 Juice of 2 limes

1 TB sherry vinegar

3 TB Lingham’s Ginger Garlic Chilli Sauce

1 clove garlic, minced

Pst of salt

Agave syrup to taste. I just squirt in and stir and taste until it is the perfect balance of tangy and sweet. I prefer it more on the tangy side.

 

5. Take the pan out of the oven and add the sauce and the carrots and then roast for 2 more minutes. Take it out of the oven and stir it all together mixing the broccoli with the rest of the roasted veg.

Serve over couscous.

 

Now go and copycat it for yourself.