Thursday 15 February 2024

The Toki Pona Wizard of Oz

 Hello lovelies! 

I have just gotten the most fascinating version of the Wonderful Wizard of Oz for my book collection. Has anyone heard of the language Toki Pona

According to Wikipedia:

Toki Pona translated as 'the language of good’ is a philosophical artistic constructed language known for its small vocabulary, simplicity, and ease of acquisition  

It was created by Sonja Lang, a Canadian  linguist and translator to simplify her thoughts and communication. 

Toki Pona only has 14 phonemes and focuses on simple, near-universal concepts to maximize expression from very few words. In  her book Toki Pona: The Language of Good, Lang presents around 120 words. Despite the small vocabulary, speakers can understand and communicate, mainly relying on context, combinations of words, and expository sentences to express more specific meanings.

And did I mention that it is all in GLYPHS? That’s right. The title of the book looks like this in Toki Pona:

How amazing is that??? As a very lonely child who didn’t connect well with my peers, I spent years creating secret codes in the hopes that one day there would be a like minded weird friend who would want to write messages back and forth. Bonus points if they wrote it in lemon juice with a toothpick so I could hold the letter over a candle and expose the secret writing. It is for reasons such as this that I was bullied and beaten up frequently as you can imagine. But I digress.

 To see why it is endearing take a look at the table of contents. I love that because there are not words for certain concepts like Scarecrow, Tin Man, Cowardly Lion and Wicked Witch of the West they are described as The Person of Bird Removal, The Metal Person of Plant Cutting, The Strong Beast of Fearful Feelings and The Evil Powerful Woman of the Ending Sun. Click on the photo to enlarge it. 


The illustrations are delightful and the text has an interesting literal but also poetic translation to it such as lines like:

The foot clothing of the Evil Powerful Woman of the Sun's Arrival became the foot clothing of Dorothy. 


I absolutely LOVE this book and the idea of the language. I really want to learn to read and write it. And maybe some day there will be a weird friend who wants to send secret messages in code to each other. 

 

Thursday 25 January 2024

The wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey WHOLIDAY

 Hello Lovelies!

This is part three of my adventurous week. The part you’ve all been waiting for—the WHOLIDAY.

I should first like to say that just as I mentioned HERE in my first post, I was surrounded by angels.

I had a little trouble figuring out which train to catch as the app just offered too many choices, so back in December I went along to the train station and got advice from a friendly employee who helped me choose the best trains to catch. Her advice: never change in Newport as you have to go over a sky bridge to change platforms. Um, no thank you. Always change in Cardiff was her motto and she helpfully printed off a list of all the trains to take on my trip there and return and highlighted the Cardiff ones. Right. Transportation sorted, now onto Accommodation.

 Using the app Booking.com I was able to find a beautiful Georgian hotel that was a seven-minute walk to the museum and was on the seafront. I got a discount for booking on my phone and my room was beautiful. The view from the outside:


The view from inside:


My plan had been to arrive at the station at about 1:30pm, take a taxi to the hotel to check in around 2pm. That was the plan. But there were no taxis in the taxi rank and I was advised to take the bus. Now you may remember my severe bus anxiety from this post about having to the take the bus to go get a mammogram HERE so I honestly wasn't sure if I could cope. I really struggle if plans have to change at the last minute and this was a big change. But the very helpful lady at the station told me I could absolutely do it. She said i would know where to get off. When I saw the pier on my left, look to the right and my hotel would be visible. And she was correct. it was MASSIVE. It was so big it seemed like you might be able to view it from space. What a relief!

I got checked in, unpacked and then used my map reading confidence to go to the Tesco Express and get some picky bits for my tea that night. Then i decided to go to the cinema.


At the end of the High Street was a Cineworld which was HUGE compared to our local VUE. It was easy to get to get and I had time before the film so I pottered around the shops on my way. I decided to go see the film Poor Things because I loved the film The Favourite (also directed by Yorgos Lanthimos). This film was funny and surreal with lush costumes and loads of sex as reanimated from the dead Bella Baxter discovers the world with no preconceived notions of what is expected. It was very arty-farty and I bloody loved it. 

The film was very long (it started at 4:20pm and got out after 7pm.) I was a bit worried walking back down the High Street after dark as there were groups of youths all drinking and shouting. But then I twigged what they were shouting about and I felt safe.

Drunk youth one: There is loads of beautiful architecture here.

Drunk youth two: That's what I'm saying. Georgian architecture! Look at those cornices!

Drunk youth one: But nobody ever looks up to see it. They just look at Caffe Bloody Nero or fecking Poundland which have no SOUL and never look up to see the beautiful Georgian architecture above it

Drunk youth two: What a fecking waste.

I was a bit worried as things look different after dark and I was concerned I might not be able to find my hotel, but i needn't have. It was lit up like a beacon making it very easy to spot. 


The next day, bright and early, I went to the Weston Museum with a quick detour to the soulless Caffe Nero to get a hot chocolate (making sure to glance up and admire the cornices.) I wore my k-9 skirt (of course I did!) and the first thing I did was have my photo made with a Cyberman (as you do.) I also brought my framed photo of Spiderman as he asked me to. 


The museum's website has this to say about the exhibit (which has been so popular, it has been extended until April)



Allons-y, time travellers and art aficionados! Weston Museum is all set to take you on a nostalgia-filled ride with “Adventures in Time and Space – 60 Years of Doctor Who Art.” Celebrating the show’s whopping six decades of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey greatness in November 2023. This exhibition promises to be a treat for all those who’ve shared an adventure with the Doctor.

Hold onto your sonic screwdrivers as we journey back to the roots of the longest-running Sci-Fi extravaganza known to humanity. From the classic era that graced our screens from 1963 to 1989, to the modern reboot that’s been stealing our hearts since 2005, this exhibition is a heartwarming journey for Whovians of all generations.

This is the largest collection of original and digital art from and about the programme ever shown in one location.

Expect to be greeted by the images of familiar faces of the Doctors we’ve cherished through the years – from the stern charm of William Hartnell to the iconic scarf-swirling of Tom Baker, the cheeky charm of David Tennant, the ground-breaking brilliance of Jodie Whittaker, and with the excitement of the new Ncuti Gatwa. And of course, it wouldn’t be a Doctor Who affair without our favourite villains – the Daleks, Cybermen, and a host of creatures that have given the Doctor a run for their money across time and space.

The exhibition unfolds like the pages of a well-worn book, displaying iconic book covers, a blast from the past with those VHS video covers we all remember (oh, the nostalgia!), annuals, comics, and graphic novels that have kept us hooked. To add a sprinkle of that quintessential Doctor Who magic, there’s even a painting that made its debut on the show itself.

We’ve dived into the TARDIS of artistic archives, rounding up an exceptional collection from private art collectors and dedicated fans who’ve lovingly held onto these visual treasures. Marvel at the original cover art of the very first Doctor Who Annual from way back in 1965 – the colours as vivid as a freshly regenerated Time Lord. We’ve joined forces with Doctor Who’s very own artistic time-travellers, securing their prized works from their dusty vaults and bringing them to life with high-resolution digital wizardry.

‘Don’t blink’ for an expedition that transcends time and space, as we celebrate the legacy of Doctor Who through a captivating display of artistry.

 Here are the highlights--my favourite paintings for each Doctor, their enemies and companions.


























And my all time favourite thing in the exhibit--Tom Baker PANTS!


I was pretty worn out after the museum so I went back to the hotel for a nap and then out to the nearby Wetherspoons for a meal that night. In between the nap and the meal i did a practice walk to make sure I could find the train station the next day and I absolutely could. 

The next day i had time to stop again for a hot chocolate on my way to the station to catch a 10:40am train back to Wales. Weather was a bit grim--snow and ice--so there was a delay in Cardiff but I got home by 4pm and collapsed in a heap.

For the next two nights I slept about 12 hours each night, so clearly it exhausted me. But I had done it. I had planned and executed a fantastic adventure in time and space all my myself and it has been a success. 

This will open up so many more opportunities for further adventures as I am no longer afraid of doing this alone. 

Do I wish Spiderman was with me? Of course I do. But I have come to understand that I am like a Time Lord--I have two hearts, mine and his, and I will carry them both together until we meet again. 

Allons y! 

My favourite number is SIX

Hello Lovelies!

If you want to read all about my difficulties navigating and how I overcame them, you can read about it HERE but if you want to know what I did on the first part of my winter holiday then read on. 

 This holiday was split into two events--SIX on Sunday and the Wholiday on Tuesday to Thursday, so here is part one of the brilliant week I had. 

About four months ago, I saw an advert on Facebook that the musical SIX all about the wives of Henry VIII was coming to the Swansea Arena in January. I impulsively bought a ticket and decided that 2024 was the year that I would just figure out how get places.  I imagined that this would be my one brave act of the year because I really wanted to go see this musical as I have been hyper focused on the songs and obsessed (obsessed I tell you!) with the costume design. Then suddenly the Amazing Spiderman appeared to me in a dream and told me that I also needed to go to Weston-Super-Mare and the only time I could get time off work was the very same week as SIX. So, this was really happening.

 

If you are not familiar with SIX, then this is what you need to know. All six wives of Henry VIII are upset because all anyone ever knows about them are the words: DIVORCED, BEHEADED, DIED, DIVORCED, BEHEADED, SURVIVED.  At first, they are in competition with each other to try to be the one who had it the worst, but then they realise their lives were so much more than just their relationship to one terrible and powerful man. Themes relating to the idea of female beauty as well as the grooming of young girls and then slut shaming them make this a powerful feminist show.

 Each queen sings in the style of famous pop stars. Wikipedia says:

Catherine of Aragon: is modelled after a mixture of BeyoncéJennifer Lopez, and Jennifer Hudson

Anne Boleyn: includes elements of Miley CyrusAvril Lavigne, and Lily Allen

Jane Seymour: is reminiscent of AdeleSia, and Celine Dion.

Anna of Cleves: includes elements of Nicki Minaj and Rihanna.

Katherine Howard: is a blend of young, sexualized pop stars and includes elements of Britney Spears and Ariana Grande.

Catherine Parr: inspired by Alicia Keys and Emeli Sandé.

 


And have I mentioned the spectacular costumes? These costumes combine elements of Tudor fashion (and architecture in the case of Jane Seymour) with a modern glittery disco aesthetic and I am here for it.

If you want to hear the first song Ex Wives just to give you a flavour, watch the video below:



I learned many things about navigation that day, arriving in Swansea 3 hours and 49 minutes before the show, but this practice made Weston-Super-Mare so much easier.  

I broke the journey down into two parts as it was a longer, more complicated walk from the station to the arena. I stopped half way there to eat lunch at the Slug and Lettuce. Isn't this the most perfect looking exterior for a trip to see a Tudor musical? 


I had allowed so much time I actually got to walk it all the way there, turn around and walk all the way back (very good practice as i do not reverse very well at all and things never look the same going the other way) and then walk back to the arena with more confidence and I still had an hour and a half before the show. 

I treated myself to not one but two programmes

and I bought a sparkly pin badge for my backpack of the Anne Boleyn costumes shown here under a spider, sandwiched between Oz and Cthulhu and above Locke and Key because that's how I roll, baby.


But how was the show, I hear you ask. BRILLIANT. I thought my heart might explode in a shower of gold glitter during the first song and it only got better from there. 

And me being me, I helped my elderly seatmate who had some vertigo (we were on the dead centre of Row X) and we became friends and she has come by the bookshop to say hello and let me help her pick out some Horrible Histories books for her grandkids. 

I have listened to the soundtrack nonstop since I went to see it and there are so many bits that I didn't get before but now have a deeper appreciation for. 

Would I see it again? You betcha. 

And this day of navigating in a bigger city with more complicated streets really set me up for success in Weston-Super-Mare. Also, i realised that the VUE Cinema was right near the arena so if ever something really good is coming to Swansea and not to Carmarthen then I will be able to find my way there and back so that opens the door for future adventures. 

Hoorah and lashings of ginger beer! 

Stay tuned for part three of the WHOLIDAY! 

Wednesday 24 January 2024

Direction(less)

 Hello Lovelies! 

Everyone has been asking about my holiday or WHOLIDAY as I am calling it.  It was an amazing and overwhelming (but in the best possible way) experience. But with everyone who has asked about it I have started with the travel and navigation part instead of the holiday and I will tell you for why--I am DIRECTIONLESS. So, navigating on my own was a much much much bigger deal than for a normal person (whatever that means.) Everyone who enquired about my hols has remarked on this saying, "Yes, but how was the Doctor Who part of it?" Because no one seems to understand just how important of an achievement this was for me. So, dear reader, I am starting with the most important part. 



First you must understand this:

I have no sense of direction. Other people say that and what they mean is if they get a bit muddled it may take them a few minutes while they relook at the map to orient themselves and then they're back on the right course. This is not what we mean when we talk about me.

I have no spatial sense in the world. I struggle with left and right. I seem to have no memory of my surroundings even if it is a familiar place. It is like a blindness when it comes to moving through the world. A blindness that often leaves me in a state of sheer terror because I am lost. Not just lost, but LOST.

 I first remember this being an issue when in the 5th grade a friend who was coming over for a sleepover phoned and asked for directions to my house and I stood there stunned because I did not know directions to my house. I could only weakly suggest my house address, but I had no memory of how you got there. I recall in a panic quickly handing the phone over to my annoyed mother who rattled off a list of directions. How did she do that? I couldn't do that. My father kindly wrote me a list of things to say which I memorised so that I could be able to tell someone if they asked, but it had no meaning to me. 

 In case you are interested:

 Go down Jackson Street Extension and turn right onto Twin Bridges Road, turn right on Joe Hesni Boulevard and right again at the end and take the first left onto Stephen Circle. 

 This was a coping mechanism I developed, a mantra to chant to help me in familiar places that felt unfamiliar. I still do this every day, reciting the memorised directions from my work to my home. 

 And then once when we lived in England because the street I normally took was blocked off because of a gas leak I had to learn a second way to get home because all I could do was stand in the road and cry because I could not see a way to go around it because straight was the only way I knew.

 Things got worse for me from 6th grade through Louisiana College. Now I had to change classes and had to get places quickly. These were classes I went to every day and I still could not remember how to get there because the halls looked basically the same so there were no landmarks to grasp. I recall vividly the rising terror of standing at the top of the stairs at ASH not knowing which hallway should I take to get to Science. To the left or the right? One way led to English and one to Science, and even doing it every day I could not remember and just watched in panic until I saw a person in my class and followed them down the correct hall. And then there was finding my locker. How could I find it when they all looked alike? And which order did my combination go in? I could recall the numbers but by the time it took me to find my locker I was flustered, and the numbers swam in front of my eyes. 

 Most people never knew this about me. I was very good at "masking." I had seen the look of disbelief and annoyance on my mother's face who thought I was just playing up and had no sense as opposed to no sense of direction. 

 It got much much worse when I learned to drive.  I HATED driving. There was so much to remember, so many body parts to coordinate, the screaming pain like being tased in the tailbone after driving for more than 30 minutes (thank you broken coccyx). How could I also add navigation to the mix?

 I worked the same job for 4 summers. I worked for the Rapides Parish Library Summer Reading Programme.  I was required each week to drive to 2 different library branches a day. It was so stressful because none of it ever looked familiar. I don't mean that each summer I had to re-learn the way because I hadn't driven it in a year. No, I mean each week I had to re-learn because I hadn't driven it in a week.  I was always accompanied by a teenage student worker who had good directional sense.  I just remember speeding down a highway in tears because nothing looked familiar, and I didn't know where I was. Each summer the student worker acted like a SAT NAV and just told me where to turn. Smart ones pointed instead of saying "left" or "right" because I was very likely to go the wrong way. 

 I met the Amazing Spiderman in 1989. He was amazing in more ways than one.  He took that burden from me because he was good at navigation. Perhaps he was just normal and merely competent at it, but in my eyes he was a GENIUS. He was endlessly patient as my father had been.  Whenever we went to a restaurant where you had to go up the stairs and down corridors to get to the toilets not being able to find my way back was a regular occurrence. After 5 minutes he would just come to find me as I stood crying in a corridor, my heart squeezing with panic and shame.  When I desperately wanted to go to London to hear a lecture at Friend's House at the age of 40, he turned it into a board game with photographs of all the landmarks  I had to pass on my 10 minute walk. We played that game every night for weeks before I went so that I could have a mantra of landmarks to recite as I made the simple journey. He never shamed me for this lack of spatial ability. He only ever looked at me with love in his eyes. 

 We were together for 32 years before he died, and he was my North Star in more ways than one. While I have taken trips since he died, there was always someone to meet me on the other side and chauffer me around. And last year when my mother and granddaughter were killed in the car accident, a friend texted me at every airport to tell me my next departure gate. So then all I had to do was find the gate, which was difficult enough, but made less difficult by not having to locate and interpret giant electronic signs that keep changing while you are trying to read them before finding the correct departure gate.  That trip was not fun AT ALL and I had big ole snotty sobbing breakdowns in 3 airports from the stress of it. 

 When Spiderman died, I felt DIRECTIONLESS in more ways than one. Not only had I lost my trusty navigator, but my soulmate as well. I wondered would my directional issues ever allow me to continue on our adventures.  Then a few months ago I had a very clear dream where Spiderman told me I was ready. That I was to go to Weston-Super-Mare to see the Doctor Who exhibit at the museum. That he would guide me, and I was to bring a framed photo of him with me. And so, I booked it--another skill I have had to learn. Transportation and accommodation were also part of the things he did for me.

 I am surrounded by ANGELS. As soon as I started telling customers I was going on a trip, my first holiday since he died, I was surrounded by help.

 An older customer gave me his A-Z book of street maps of Weston-Super-Mare and helped me practice tracing the route from my hotel to the museum every time he came to the shop.

A younger customer showed me how to use GOOGLE MAPS on my phone and set it up for the walking directions.  He taught me that my body would be a large dot on the map and there would be a dotted line I was supposed to follow and so if I was not going the right direction I could see in real time that I was off track. Another customer (who is becoming a friend, hoorah!) showed me that if you do GOOGLE MAPS on a computer you can see street views and so I spent hours before I left practicing walking through the town and making a list of landmarks I would pass to know I was on the right track and landmarks that would help me know where to turn (turn right by Superdrug is much easier than turn right on Orchard Street. Also, why do so many streets not have a fecking street sign????) 

 And so, by the time I got there I knew where I was. I had a list of landmarks and so was much calmer and was able to enjoy myself. It was like a switch had flipped in my head. Suddenly I could see connections. I could see how this street connected to that street and remember it. Something I have NEVER been able to do before.

 

I was like a cartoon getting an idea and a light bulb appears over their head. It was like my whole brain was illuminated for the first time in my life. I even was able to look at GOOGLE MAPS and make the connection that the cinema (where I had practiced finding before the trip) was near the train station and so I was able to use my prior knowledge to get me to the cinema and then do a practice walk the day before I left to the station. I just went slowly, used the dots on GOOGLE MAPS to help me know I was going in the right direction and then emailed myself a list of landmarks to follow the next day. And it worked. it really worked.

 

I came home so excited because I now had coping mechanisms and some directional skills but mainly, I had CONFIDENCE. This has opened up a whole world of travel for me. Which is why I must talk about it first, before I tell you all about my grand adventure. 

 

Stay tuned tomorrow for the tale of SIX go on a WHOLIDAY. 

 

 

Wednesday 20 December 2023

Live Love Be Believe

 

Hello lovelies! The title of this blog is Live Love Be Believe which is the motto for the band the Crüxshadows. This is what I am trying to do:

LIVE in a world that has been turned upside down, live in a way I can be proud of and continue to live and grow and not shut down because the unthinkable has happened. I will never move on but I want to move onward.

LOVE and continue to love my Best Beloved, practice more self-love as learning to do all these new things on my own is hard without him, spread love and kindness with every step.

BE just learn to be whole without the person who I thought made me whole, just be in the moment not worrying about so many things, and be the person who is my best self.

BELIEVE that all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well, that I will see my darling again and what a sweet reunion that will be and to believe in all the good magical things that there are in the world and to be a part of spreading that joy.

My new tattoos

This has been my tattoo year, it seems. I have met the Fabulous Ffion who makes my ink dreams come true. And because she can double up (or in today’s case triple up) designs during a one-hour appointment I have my final three of the year.

Like every one of my tattoos these designs have a deep personal meaning for me, and like most the ones I got this year they are related to my Best Beloved the Amazing Spiderman.

There is so much I wanted to say about them that it felt like it needed to be a blog post.

The first design is the logo for the band the Crüxshadows. We have loved this goth darkwave band for years and even were lucky enough to see them live in London several years ago which you can read about HERE. This band, led by the charismatic lead singer and songwriter with a moral compass Rogue has been a hero of ours for years. Their lyrics are influenced by literature, religion (one of their songs quotes directly from the 23rd Psalm) and Greek mythology. One of our favourite songs is Sophia, meaning wisdom. This song had a profound effect on both of us. Read some of the lyrics below and see why.

So you must carry this light into the darkness
You shall be a star unto the night
You will find hope alive among the hopeless
That is your purpose to this life

Do not injustice to another
Defend the weak and innocent
Let truth and honour always guide you
Let courage find the light within

Stand up when no one else is willing
Act not in hatred or in spite
Be to this world as a perfect knight
Even if it means your life

And through these doubts and through your confusion
Know that you are chosen to this fight
Look to find a soul filled with compassion
Look to see a living source of light

I wanted something to remind me always to be that Living Source of Light.

The second one is an hourglass. This timey-wimey symbol of Life, Death and Time Lords is also a reminder to me that we never know how long we have on this earth, and we must make it a good one, spreading love and kindness wherever we go so that we do not regret our lives. The Crüxshadows also have a song about this called Birthday.

Roll out of bed, look in the mirror
And wonder who you are
Another year has come and gone
Today is your birthday
But it might be the last day of your life
What will you do if tomorrow it's all gone?

Look at your life, who do you want to be before you die?
Look at your life, you haven't got forever

And tell me what really matters
Is it the money and the fame?
Or how many people might eventually know your name?
But maybe you touch one life
And the world becomes a better place to be
Maybe you give their dreams another day
Another chance to be free

You won't be young forever
There's only a fraction to the sum
You won't be young forever
Nor will anyone

I remember Spiderman playing it repeat every February 13th as he looked at what he done the past year to make the world better and what he hoped to do in the coming year to Be the Light. He brought a lot of good into the world, it just was extinguished far too soon. I have his ashes in an urn that is an hourglass to remind me of this song and who I want to be before I die.

The last one will make no sense to anyone but us except maybe Matazone Haggis who created the animated film. Spiderman and I had several ways to say I Love You without using words. The most popular one was this. The sound TK TK TK. A bit like the sound a tap-dancing pigeon might make. This all comes from a hilarious video by Matazone Haggis (creator of Mr Snaffleburger if you know that character) of Skippy the Goth Kangaroo. Which contains the hilarious dialogue:

Skippy the Goth Kangaroo: TK TK TK

Boy: What’s that Skip?

Skippy the Goth Kangaroo: TK TK TK

Boy: Aw, no! Lord Oberon Darkness-of-the Night has fallen down the well?

Skippy the Goth Kangaroo: TK TK TK

Boy: AND he's run out of eyeliner!

You can watch the video HERE.

So, I wanted to create the image of a stone well as viewed from above with TK TK TK inside so I could have a permanent I Love You from my Amazing Spiderman.

That makes a total of 11 tattoos for me this year (and brings the grand total all the way up to 28) but I love reading my body like a map that tells the history of my life but also that is a love note to the life I shared with the most amazing man I ever met.

Merry Christmas everyone and a happy new year!

Spidergrrl x

Thursday 31 August 2023

Slowly Making a Snail

 Hello Lovelies!

I have wanted to make a Julia Donaldson costume for a while now, but what to choose? The Gruffalo is by far her most famous character but seemed too obvious. My favourite book is Stick Man but that didn’t leave much chance for creativity. About a month ago I was shelving Julia Donaldson books and I came across The Snail and the Whale. Eureka! That was perfect, especially because of Anne, Charlotte and Emily my three Giant African Land Snails collectively known as the Bronte Snails.


I started to scour charity shops for some trousers in brown tones and was lucky enough to find three pairs from the YMCA (£1.50, £1.50, 50p) and then found another pair at the Red Cross for £1.99.

I had literally no idea how big it would need to be as I have no spatial sense, so I used some packing paper at work and laid it out on the floor to get a sense of how long it might need to be. This is about six feet and it only coiled up about this big (see below) so I knew I needed to make it much, much longer.

I carefully cut them into rectangles about two hands wide (because I can’t be arsed to measure properly) and sewed them together in a very long strip, then folded it right sides together and sewed down the side making a very, very, very long snake.

 One of the things I am so glad I did was to leave a gap every ten rectangles (a two-rectangle gap to be precise) to make stuffing it easier.

 Then I tried it on and pretended it was a long scarf and I was Tom Baker (as you do.)

Next I set about to stuffing it. Online people said that bubble wrap was a good thing to use as it was light, but I didn’t have any and it was expensive. The other thing people talked about was scrumpled up paper so that it what I did. I had some brown craft paper I use as wrapping paper so I tore it into long strips and scrumpled it up and used that in  combination with some pollyfill fluff. Then as I filled each section I hand stitched it closed.

 When the whole thing was stuffed it measured an impressive 4.5 meters. I saved back some of the nicest houndstooth tweedy fabric for an art display as my favourite geek merch company Skelton Crew says in the future they will be making the key to 221B Baker Street so I need to be prepared!

 Now it was time to coil that baby up into a huge swirly poop shape. I used safety pins to make this happen. I wasn’t sure how many I would need and as it turns out I needed about 180 and had to go back twice to get more packs. I used the biggest pins at the four carinal directions and the medium ones in all the spaces in between.


Then I needed to attach the straps which in hindsight I probably should have added earlier. I used heavy duty strapping and D Rings to sew (and re-sew about 50 times) to the top and bottom and then added safety pins for extra strengthening.


Then onto the eyestalks. I bought a wide headband from Poundland which was surprisingly comfortable (for a headband). I rolled up two squares of brown felt like a cone and stuffed them with more pollyfill fluff. Then hot glued them to the headband and added eyeballs to the top. Then I used leftover scraps to cover the headband to match the shell which made the headband slightly less comfortable because now it was tighter. But a careful strategic stretching and it now feels better.


So how do I put it on? The answer is with some difficulty. I bend over like I am trying to touch my toes with the shell balanced on my back and thread the straps through the D Rings and pull. Then stand up and pull the straps tighter and tie under my boobs.

How was it wearing it all day at work? Not that bad, actually. I did occasionally knock books off the shelf behind me and I could not fit in the cupboard under the stairs so had to get my colleague to bring a few things out (like the cordless phone and spare bags) before he left. Despite the size it was never as uncomfortable as the Medusa crown. I did notice some discomfort the next day between my scapula, but a bit of stretching and lying on my acupressure mat sorted it. 

Now I just need to figure out where to store it as it is quite large….