Spidergrrl vs. The Giant Fibroid

It was on this day, one year ago, that I had my hysterectomy. It was a strange time. I was in an enormous amount of pain due to the fact that I had fibroids that weighed 5lbs that were displacing all my internal organs.  My stomach was up between my ribs making eating really uncomfortable. My bladder was “flat as a pancake” according to the surgeon. This would explain why it felt like I was pissing glass. I was frightened that I was dying, frightened that I was going to die on the operating table, frightened that if they did not give me another dose of liquid morphine I would have to kill someone. It was a scary experience being in hospital, being away from Spiderman. Unless you go private you are on a ward with other people and your bed just has a curtain around it for privacy and there are visiting hours in the afternoon. The only model I have known is the US model where everyone has a private room and people can stay all day and all night if they want. I’m not sure that is necessarily a good idea, but you can do it. I was worried about being vegan--would they force me to eat things I did not want?

I need not have worried. I received excellent care. The food was specially made for me. In the beginning it was jacket potato with cowboy beans every meal until they figured out some other ideas. By the end I had a delicious vegetable curry over rice. Spiderman excelled himself coming by bus to see me every afternoon for the 7 days I was in hospital. He was such a huge support always bringing me nibbles or a MAD magazine to cheer me up.

When I got home it took me 8 weeks to recover and get back enough strength to go back to work. I had been off work 2 weeks before the surgery and so I missed a total of 10 weeks of school. It was amazing how much children had grown in the 2.5 months I had been away. Spiderman was the best nurse ever, keeping house, cooking the meals, doing the shopping, bringing me treats. I was as weak as a kitten for many weeks after. He had to help me have a bath for at least a month because I couldn’t raise my hands to rinse my hair. Now that is devotion.

It was a strange time because despite the fatigue and pain in my huge oblong scar, I felt enormously better. All that weight had been lifted from my abdomen. I could breathe, eat and pee again without being in agony. My skin no longer looked green. It was strange at first to not have periods--I thought I would miss them-but I don’t. What I do miss is using the washable cloth pads I sewed myself. I liked have an eco period. But now I can devote my eco time to other causes.

A year on and I would say I feel perfectly normal. Spiderman says I was never normal so this feeling will pass. But you know what I mean. I am back at pilates and now can do so many things that I physically wasn’t capable of pre-hysterectomy due to the monstrous hard growth of tumours in my distended abdomen. I am back to kick boxing and I feel great. No pulling or pinching on my scar. I can lift and carry with no pain. Only once or twice in the last month have I felt a twinge in the scar and it was only for a moment.

I am thankful to be alive. I am thankful for the Amazing Spiderman. I am thankful for the surgery that saved my life and the scar that bears witness to that fact. I give thanks.