Go Go Gola

I think we all know by now I am not a fashion queen. I don’t give a fig about brand named clothing and I wouldn’t recognise a pair of Jimmy Choo’s if someone kicked me up the arse whilst wearing them.

I am more about comfort the older I get. Living in the UK for the last eleven years without a car we have done a lot of walking. You need good supportive comfortable shoes to do that. I pretty much live in trainers (or sneakers for those in the northern part of the US and tennis shoes for those in south--I called them that all my life despite never once playing tennis in them) and a dress making me look a bit like those Pentecostal girls of the 80s or a business woman power walking to work except I don’t bring a change of shoes.

Trainers give me better support than “cute” shoes which tend to have the cumulative effect of making my heels hurt which makes my ankle twinge which in turn bothers my knee which then puts my hip out of joint and finally misaligns my coccyx and I am all out of whack.

About the second or third week after we arrived it was raining rather heavily (no surprise there, it is Wales after all) and I discovered that my trainers had a hole in them letting in copious amounts of water and drenching my sock and making me all squelch-y. Not nice.

But what to do? We found a local sport shop that was going out of business and I found a pair of £40 trainers for half price. £20 seemed like an excellent bargain especially for brand named shoes even if I had never heard of the brand.

I didn’t choose them because of the name. I chose them because they were black, not made of leather and came in my size and were £20. The brand was called Gola Active --ever heard of it? No me neither. But wearing them was a revelation.

Gola are great. I cannot say how much I love them. They are super comfortable and supportive. They are made of breathable synthetic fabric. They have these “balance domes” (a bit like Sketchers) to create slight instability which stimulates key muscles and can result in the following benefits:

*overall improved health and well being

* stronger leg and gluteal muscles

*reduced pressure on joints

*improved blood circulation

*enhanced core strength

*a strengthened back

I bloody love them. I love them so much when my black pair that I have faithfully worn every day for the past six months --walking 2-5 miles a day in them--finally developed a small hole that was letting water in I wanted to get another pair of Gola Active. I have never been brand loyal but I wanted to replace like for like.

But where to get them? The shop where we bought the original pair had long since gone out of business. We didn’t have £40 to pay for a full price pair so what could I do?

I did a tentative amazon search and lo and behold--I found a company selling them for £8.50 a pair. £8.50 plus £3.50 shipping making a total of £12 a pair. They only had sizes three and four left and luckily I am a size four and so I did a little happy dance. They only came in graphite and coral as opposed to black and pink but hey-ho. For that price for the brand I wanted I was not going to quibble. They only had two left in stock so we decided to buy them both and put one away for when these wear out. So for less than £24 I got two pairs of shoes. Woohoo!!!

The black ones still have some wear in them and I am working on a way to plug up the small hole with superglue or some such and turn them into my muddy shoes--shoes for hikes or woodsy walks where you wouldn’t want to get your good shoes all mucky. It won’t matter if they have a big glob of glue plugging up a hole as they are for messy outdoor fun.

But the grey ones can be my every day ones. 

I bought the first pair impulsively but returned with purpose for the second (and third) pairs. Gola is a British company and having looked at their website I really appreciate their values. I will Go Go Gola as long as they make shoes.

Postal dragons

Did you know that Royal Mail employs dragons? At least in Wales they do. Dragons are everywhere here in Cymru. We are a nation of dragons. FACT. There is even one that lives on a roundabout in town.

 

But how do I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that Royal Mail employs dragons? Because they keep eating my bloody letters, that’s how.

 

Twice since we moved we have a letter delivered in a plastic bag with the message:

 

Our Sincere Apologies

We are very sorry that this item has reached you in this condition. 

 

Exhibit A:

 

This is a letter from my young pen pal Lois that arrived partially eaten. Luckily, I could still read her message.

 

The next one was not so lucky.

 

Exhibit B:

 This was actually a thank you card that I sent to a friend in England that arrived back to me mangled, scrunched with a huge chunk bitten off. It came back to me via the return address because the address it was meant to be delivered to was devoured and could not be read.

 

What other explanation could there be but dragons?

 

So Royal Mail, if you are reading this--get your bloody dragons under control please!!!!!

Really and truly?

Have you ever read something and thought, "Is this for real?"

Something that seems so dated and backwards--you can't decide if it is a parody or truthful. There was a document roaming the internet a few years back that was supposed to be a Victorian sex manual giving advice to the wife ("Give little, give seldom and above all give grudgingly") which I believe was proven to be a fake. Read the whole text here: http://www.squaredancecd.com/Bride/brides.htm

Recently my Mum sent me this: Advice from a 1949 Singer Sewing Manual.


Is it true? Is it real? I can't be sure. Possibly as it is 1949. What do you think?

What I can say is that the following pictures are REAL. How can I say it with such confidence? Because they happened to me. Yes, when I was in the sixth grade I went to Christian Charm School. To be fair, I was sort of tricked into it. My glamorous aunt invited me to come and spend a week with her in Texas and go to a week long workshop to teach you about hair and make-up. Or so she said. It turned out to be a workshop about hair and make-up and Jesus and how to attract a HUSBAND.

Seriously. I was eleven years old. I didn't want a boyfriend at that age let alone be thinking ahead to a husband. Yuck.....seriously boys still had cooties  for me at this age.

Here are some pages from Emily Hunter's Christian Charm Course.

I failed on the walk gracefully bit as I tended to do a lot of hopping and twirling when I walk. Actually I still hop and twirl quite a bit. I do not glide smoothly as the instructions above told me to. As Spiderman says, "People walk. Daleks glide" and I can safely say I am not a emotionless killing machine from outer space.  And as for the pretty sitting posture--it makes me feet go to sleep.

I think this page says it all. How feminine are you?


I was constantly being told off for laughing too loudly and for boisterous rowdiness. We were encouraged to hide our intellect and mould our opinions to the man in our life because no man wants a wife that is smarter than he is. Because I could not seem to supress any of the above behaviours I was actually told by the pastor in a fatherly voice, "If you continue on in this manner then no man is ever going to marry you."

How did I survive this and grow up to be the relatively normal and sane person you see before you, I hear you cry?

Well...by failing. I actually was the only one in the group who wasn't allowed to graduate. I got a certificate for participation but I wasn't allowed to walk across the stage and shake the pastor's hand. My aunt was mortified but my parents were *so* proud when I told them.

And I am happy to say the pastor was wrong. Spiderman and I just celebrated 26 years since our first date last month.

But how do these antiquated attitudes damage young girls? With all the stress on your outer appearance not inner beauty and hiding your light under a bushel I don't feel it really jives with the Bible's message.

This course is still being taught today--you can buy it on Amazon.

I had liberal parents who taught me to think for myself but what about all those young girls who don't have parents to protect them?

Diolch Ffrindiau

This means thank you friends in Welsh. I have a lot to be thankful for. Every night when Spiderman and I bless our food we say:

 

We give thanks O Lord

For food when many walk in hunger,

For faith when many walk in fear,

For friends when many walk alone,

We give thanks to you O God and

May all that have life be delivered from suffering.

Amen.

 

It is not really the way that Quakers tend to pray. Normally they hold a silent thought before a meal, but since we have been in Wales we have felt the need to do more--to acknowledge our blessings verbally.

 

We were blessed with a visit from friends this past weekend. I guess you could also say it was a visit from Friends as Friends (Of Truth) is another word for Quakers. When we arrived in Cymru six months ago, I had a bit of hard time adjusting. I was homesick and lonely and unemployed. I missed my church family and friends back in England. While things are considerably better now--I am still unemployed but I am not so homesick or lonely as I once was--it was with great excitement that some of our Quaker friends discussed the possibility of coming to Wales for a weekend.

 

It seemed like such a difficult thing to arrange--one of those ideas that sound good in theory but then when you look into the logistics of it couldn’t really be done. I tried not to get my hopes up and seem casual in our email exchanges but I know my heart was just wanting it so badly. I really miss these people--they were a huge part of my life both spiritual and social and I wanted to show them around our new town and new life in Cymru.

 

Well reader, it happened. They came.

 

Friday night Rachel and Lorna N arrived after five and half hours in the car. I couldn’t believe they were willing to drive that long just to see us. To be fair, the actual drive was more like four and half hours with two half an hour pit stops but still. That is a *long* way to come for the sake of friendship.

 

But they came anyway.

 

We went out for a delicious Chinese meal at Sai Wu, the restaurant owned by our friend Soong. They came back for the quick tour of our flat and for a slice of date cake and then back to their hotel to bed.

 

Saturday morning the weather was *perfect* --the daffodils were blooming, the sky was blue and the sun was shining and I was in my short red spring coat as opposed to my long pink winter coat. Hoorah!!! Spiderman gave us the day together because he knew I needed a visit more than he did. He got his visit later that night over dinner and conversation that lasted until nearly midnight.

 

We three ladies pottered around the many shops that Carmarthen has to offer. There are at least eight charity shops and several interesting independent retro crafty type places so we ambled about from around 10am to about 4pm (stopping in the middle for a cup of tea and sandwiches). We all had a nap and then they came over for dinner and we ate mushroom barley soup http://spidergrrlvstheworld.blogspot.co.uk/2014/11/souper-supper.html  and date cake http://spidergrrlvstheworld.blogspot.co.uk/2014/10/this-is-date-to-bake-cake.html and we talked and laughed and told stories and discussed politics and laughed some more. It was a truly uplifting experience.

 

We didn’t actually subject them to our blessing as that feels like a personal religious choice and we didn’t want to make them feel uncomfortable but I did make them listen to a seasonal poem as we are counting our way towards the spring equinox on March the 20th. I have even decorated my seasonal tree in it’s spring attire.

The next day we met then at Café Nero for a cuppa before they got on the road. We were having such an interesting discussion about the American South (Last year Lorna took a trip to Nashville as well as further down south) that I think we didn’t want it to end. But they said goodbye and drove home and we walked home in the drizzle (I was back wearing my long pink winter coat again).

 

It was, without a doubt, one of the best weekends I’ve had. It reminds you that if you are truly friends then distance and time do not matter. You can pick up right where you left off. Just seeing them was gift enough but did I mention they also brought pressies?????

 

Seriously. Boxes and bags of goodies from Quaker Friends back in Hitchin. Knowing our finances are a wee bit on the tight side (we are, after all, Mr and Mrs Church Mouse) Friends sent expensive food treats like olive oil, cashew nuts, coconut milk and tamarind paste (can you say curry????) plus delicious but totally out of our price range maple syrup. Luxury!  They sent posh snacks like apricot chia bars, chocolate covered raspberries, dried apricots, mixed nuts and two (count ’em two) kinds of hand cooked crisps. Yeah…we’ve actually eaten most of the snack stuff already. Plus two varieties of herbal tea! 

There were also three (count ‘em three) jars of homemade jellies and jams. Yes please!!!!

There were fabric remnants from their fabric stashes that had long lain unused and were looking for someone to think of a use for them. Me! Pick me! I can use them! 

There were card making crafty bits like fancy paper and little wooden doodads which filled me with so many ideas I could hardly wait to make something.

 

There were also several craft kits and projects and game ideas --plastic fillable Easter eggs anyone??? Oh the fun we will have!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There were thoughtful cards from several of our friends back in England that I will treasure because of their kind messages.

 It would have been a perfect weekend with just their company but I gotta say…the pressies were really nice! Food and crafts and books! Oh, I forgot the  books!!

 Lorna found some a trilogy of interesting books all about Merlin the magician (who was born in a cave outside Carmarthen dontcha know!) in a charity shop and bought them for me. How kind.

It truly let me know how blessed we are--with good food, good friends and a shared faith that draws us together.

Diolch o galon! Heartfelt thanks!

 

 

And though she be but little, she is fierce

There is a sadness that has swept over us. There has been a death. Connie Douglas was the mother of a childhood pal, a favourite professor and a true friend to us. We were very close to her through our time at Louisiana College and remained friends after graduation. We have seen her several times since we moved to the UK as she loved travel as much as we did. In fact she is one of the main reasons we are here today, living our dream in the United Kingdom.

 

Dr D (as I always called her) was an English professor as well as one of the team who taught the values classes at LC. We were lucky enough to have her as our teacher for many classes and always greatly enjoyed our lessons and her enthusiasm for literature. She was teeny-tiny--I am actually taller than she was which says a lot--and she always wore high heels and I often wondered how in the world she managed. She was a firecracker--a ball of energy and ideas and she loved to laugh. She was a fierce woman with so much integrity in the face of adversity and I admired her courage greatly.

 

I can recall clearly the incident when we were reading Gulliver’s Travels and she bid us look at the first page. We looked. She said look again. We looked again. She said look harder. Finally, she read out loud the clever wordplay from the rogue that was Jonathan Swift which talked of his beloved old school master, Mister Bates. Now Mister Bates was a fine master, good old Master Bates.

 

Master Bates…masturbates.  Aha!

 

Finally we got it and as the light bulb flickered on above our heads we hooted with laughter. I have never forgotten that and I always make sure to point that out to anyone reading Gulliver’s Travels lest they miss it.   

 

It was also in her class that the unfortunate incident occurred whilst watching the film version of Wuthering Heights starring Laurence Oliver where Cathy says, “Oh Heathcliff! Gather up all the heather to fill my arms!” and I leapt up and shouted,

 

Yes!

 

Yes!!

 

Yes!!!!

 

Like in that scene from When Harry Met Sally. I was *mortified* but Dr D told me later that she felt that way too so it made me feel so much better.

 

As Spiderman was an English education major and I was an English minor we had many classes with Dr D. I wrote some of best papers for her, her teaching inspired me to write and research  at a deeper level. But the best class we took from her was Shakespeare.

 

Why was that class the best? Because we took it in London in 1990. Spiderman and I were privileged to be a part of the Mary D. Bowman programme known as LC/MC Overseas where Louisiana College and Mississippi College spent a semester living and studying in London as well as travelling around Scotland and Wales over the Easter holidays. The programme was in its infancy and we were lucky enough to go during the second year. We chose to go that year because the two subjects being taught were English with Dr D and science by a professor from Mississippi College. To take Shakespeare in London with our favourite professor and friend was a dream come true.  I loved that she stayed at the hotel with us (some later professors in residence stayed elsewhere away from all the students) but she was always there, in the thick of it with us.

 

 The programme helped us to leave the sheltered confines of Louisiana and see a more global perspective on the world. We saw art, went to the theatre, discussed current events and became more well rounded people. Our eyes were opened. For me it was like having been in a desert all my life and suddenly feeling the rain on my skin. Spiderman felt that way as well. That was largely due to Dr D and her enthusiasm for all that the United Kingdom had to offer.

 

It was on that trip in 1990, on our one year anniversary, while sitting on the old green sofa at our beloved Saint Margaret’s Hotel that Spiderman proposed to me. Being me, I burst into tears (I do that easily) and right at that moment who should walk in by Dr D who saw me crying and thought something tragic had happened.  Immediately, she rushed to my side and asked if I was ok. All I could do was hiccup and say, “We’re going to get married!”  and she started to cry as well! She was so happy and hugged us over and over and kept saying that we were such a perfect match for each other. We went to bed, elated in our secret good news and by the time we came down for breakfast the next day the word was out. Everyone knew. And I do mean everyone. We were getting winks and smiles and hugs from all the waitresses as well as from our LC/MC compatriots.

 

Connie Douglas is one of the main reasons we are here today. She made us believe it was possible. So many people tried to slam the door on our dreams, but she opened the door wider and told us walk in.

 

Thank you Dr D. We will miss you.

Sneaky Shakes

Lately I have been looking for a filling smoothie to help me make it through the morning without snacking. The mistake often made is too much fruit which is undoubtedly delicious but sends your sugar levels skyrocketing and then crashing and you feel hungry a few hours later. I was trying to develop something with more staying power.

 

I know from experience that protein and a bit of healthy fat are the keys for me. It is what keeps me full and my blood sugar even. Many vegetarians and vegans hear the annoying ill-informed question of “But where do you get your protein from?”  more times than we would like. Actually, every food has some amount of protein in it. But that’s why if you add beans or a sprinkle of nuts to a salad you feel more full than with lettuce alone.  More protein.  The next question we often hear is, “But where do you get calcium from if you don’t drink milk?” which for me is a combination of fortified foods (many soy milks and orange juices have added calcium) naturally high in calcium foods such as kale and sesame seeds or almonds.

Could I make a breakfast shake that was high in both protein, healthy fat and calcium? Yes I could. Most recipes call for a scoop of protein powder. Now protein powder is hella expensive and often full of weird bulking agents and fillers. Whey protein is the cheapest, but who the hell wants to eat that? Whey is a by-product of the cheese making industry and it is illegal to dump it in rivers and streams because it is toxic to fish and aquatic life. Why would I want to put something poisonous in my body?  But millions of people do every day because whey powder is sold to the food industry as a cheap filler in processed convenience foods. Check your labels and see if I am wrong. 

 

So how could I have the desired outcome I needed for cheap making sure it was healthy as well?

 

Well duh. Beans to the rescue again. Wait! Don’t run away screaming just yet. Hear me out. Have you tried my amazing black bean brownies and all the other variations? http://spidergrrlvstheworld.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/spidergrrls-beany-bar-yum-yum.html  Everyone who tries these raves about them. Can you taste the beans? No. Would the same be true for the smoothie--could you really not taste them? No, not at all.

 

First I rinsed and drained some white beans and some black beans. I blotted them with a tea towel to take off any moisture and froze them in a single layer for several hours.

 

Then I scooped them all up, loosened up the stuck together ones and plonked them in a ziplock bag. Sorted.

 

So right now I have two breakfast shakes--a chocolate one and a gingerbread one. Oh mama.

 

1) Start by putting 200ml  fortified plant milk in a blender. I use Oatly. Boom! That’s 60% of your vitamin D, 30% of your riboflavin, 30% of your B12 and 30% of your daily calcium. Sorted.

 

2) Add ¼ cup frozen beans. That’s fibre and protein that will keep you fuller longer (4.1g fibre and 3.62g protein in black beans and 2.6g fibre and 4.01g protein in white beans) plus ¼ cup white beans contains 4% of your daily calcium 8% of your daily iron and ¼ cup black beans contains 4% of your daily calcium, 11% of your daily iron and 4% of your daily vitamin C. Who knew?

 

3) Blend until the beans are dissolved which is like adding lots of little ice cubes as the beans are frozen.

 

4) Add ¼ cup of oats which adds 1.9g of fibre, 1% of your daily calcium and 4% of your iron plus 3.03g of protein. Or you can add ¼ cup of something like Ready Brek which is super smooth porridge oats that have been fortified with extra calcium, vitamin D, iron, B2, B6 and B12. . 

5) Add 1 Tablespoon tahini paste made from sesame seeds. You could use peanut butter as we are going for fat and protein, but why not use tahini as it is so high in calcium? I prefer the richer complex flavour of roasted unhulled sesame seeds personally as the hulls make it higher in calcium. If you don’t dig tahini then go for almond butter as it is also high in calcium. But 1 TB tahini will give you 2.55g protein, 64mg of calcium and 8.06g fat. Don’t freak out on me. A bit of healthy fat is good for you. The fat will make you fuller longer.

 

6) for a chocolate smoothie add 1 TB unsweetened cocoa powder (1.06g protein, 1% daily calcium and 4% daily iron!) , a date or a Tablespoon of  raisins if the cocoa makes it bitter and ½ tsp cinnamon

 

And for a gingerbread smoothie add 1 TB blackstrap molasses and 1 tsp cinnamon (or use a chai spice mix like cinnamon, ginger, cloves, allspice and nutmeg-super yum!) The molasses MUST be blackstrap as it has the highest amount of nutrition. I Tablespoon of blackstrap molasses contains 200mg calcium--seriously! That’s nearly one quarter of your recommended daily amount right there! Plus 4.5mg  iron which is nearly a quarter of your RDA. Plus 45mg magnesium and 510g potassium plus a host of trace minerals like copper and manganese!

 

7) Add a frozen peeled ripe banana and whiz all together. One banana is one of your “five a day” fruit and veg! Plus it makes it sweeter without adding extra sugar.

 

Serve in a mason jar because that's how all the cool kids drink it.

Chocolate:

 

Gingerbread:

 

 

The smoothies are delicious and thick and filling thanks to all the high fibre, protein and fat. After having one I can go hours and hours without eating. I am not weak and starving by 10am. I am fuelled for the day. 

 

I swear you can’t taste the beans.

 

Give this a try and start your day right. And if you don’t want to faff about every morning opening up a bajillion containers then pre-pack your dry stuff like oats and cinnamon. So you can just dump it in there and only have to add the liquid or sticky stuff.

 

Oh and one more tip. If you oil the spoon the molasses sliiiiiides right off.

 

No excuses. Make this and start your day off right.

Comfort Food

I don’t handle disappointment very well. Never have. I am one of those people who feel things in a BIG way. Every encounter, no matter how large or small, is taken to heart. I feel elation and despair in equal measures. FACT.

 

As you all know Spiderman and I moved to Wales five months ago so he could take up a fascinating post at the UWTSD (University of Wales, Trinity Saint David). We figured I would be able to find a job with relative ease.

 

We were wrong.

 

Five months on and I cannot seem to find work. It is hard to try and fail. It is hard to live on one income, but we have managed. It is hard to have meaning in your life when you don’t have a job (which often seems to define who you are. You know that terrible question that is like a punch in the solar plexus--”What do you do?”)  or a reason to get up and get going in the morning. I know in my heart that Wales is grand and that we are blessed with a fantastic and affordable house to live in, delicious healthy home cooked food (this is thanks largely in part to my budgeting, shopping the sales and planning so that not food gets wasted) and we have friends that feel like the sort of friends we’ve known all our life even though we have just met. I get it that we have lots of good things going for us.

 

But I want a job.

 

Then our lives would have everything we need to feel settled in.

 

After months of searching and being rejected I finally got an interview for a fantastic job that ticked all the boxes for me.

 

I didn’t get it.

 

They were really impressed with me and my personality made a huge impression on them. I got excellent feedback which I know will help me do even better in my next interview.

 

It is tempting to say if I get another interview instead of when I get another interview because we’ve been here five months and despite applying for dozens of jobs I have only managed to get two interviews. I don’t want to wait another five months for another chance.

 

But I may have to. I have to believe that this is all part of God’s plan and that there is a reason I didn’t get this amazing job and that something even more fabulous is in the pipeline.

 

But frankly, it is hard to believe it.

 

Every day I search the job advertisements and very rarely is there anything I am qualified to do. On the other hand there are many jobs I am overqualified for and can’t seem to get hired for either. It is discouraging to say the least.

 

But I’m hanging in there. I love Wales and I don’t want to leave. I just want to find a job.

 

So I was feeling rather down (which is a polite way of putting it) and I needed some comfort food. Some down home country cooking.

 

So we ate this:

Vegan sausages, mash, peas and carrots and onion gravy.

 

Mmm-mmm.

I do not normally buy processed convenience foods as they are super expensive and often full of crappy ingredients. But I saw these Linda McCartney Vegetarian Red Onion and Rosemary Sausages on sale for 99p a box (6 sausages) at Lidl and I thought I would give them a go. 

 

Many processed vegetarian meats have wheat gluten in them but these don’t so they are kind to my tummy. They have five recognisable ingredients plus a list of five spices so that seems less bad than many I’ve seen. They are low in fat but high in protein and fibre.

 

Plus sometimes you need some comfort food that is smothered in gravy.

 

Mmmmm….gravy.

 

Surprisingly, it did make me feel better.

 

There are lots of good things about my life--if I listed them all it would take pages and pages of writing. There is only one bad thing in my life so on balance it is not so bad.

 

I still want a job.

 

I still need a job.

 

Something good has to be coming. Doesn’t it? I just need to be patient and that has never been easy for me. Five months unemployed seems like forever. But I have to remind myself that we have a roof over our heads and we have never gone hungry. Dealing with this crushing disappointment (and it is crushing. People use that term loosely but really that is how it feels—like I am Giles Corey being pressed to death in Arthur Miller’s The Crucible. Like all the breath has been taken out of my body) has reminded me how much I am loved by Spiderman. He keeps my grief in balance. When I in anger throw up straw arguments, he calmly and kindly points them out and helps me let go of them. When I cry over real disappointment he holds me and lets me grieve.

 

So right now, my life is not good or bad. It just is. To quote the band Youthmovies and their song If You’d Seen a Battlefield:

It's not going well and it's not going badly it's just going along.

 

I can live with that.