Thursday, 30 September 2010

Oh what a tangled web we weave…

...when first we practice to deceive.

I was having a discussion at work with some of the female staff. They were admiring my new boots and asking me the price and from whence they came. One person said, “At £16.99 you could tell your husband about them.” I was mega confused. “That’s a low enough price that you don’t have to lie,” she continued. LIE? Why would I need to lie to my husband? Clearly I am a bloke because it would never occur to me to lie about my purchases. Others were offering tips on how they deceive their spouses such as putting your most expensive purchase in the bag with the cheapest store name. Like putting your Louis Vuitton handbag in a TESCO carrier bag. WHY? He’s going to know it was expensive when he sees the bag, isn’t he? No, apparently not. Men don’t know anything about fashion I was told. Maybe I am not a bloke after all. I can recognise fashion I just want no part of it.  One person even told us how she showed her daughter how to forge receipts on the computer, print them and cut them to size. WHY? He’s going to find out when the bill comes.

Why all the lies? I cannot imagine being in a relationship where you had to lie so much. How could you keep it all straight? I stopped and said a silent prayer of thanks that I was married to a wonderful man and we were honest with each other. I had a friend in college who had to get her husband’s permission to do anything/buy anything. I remember she wanted to cut her long hair because it was too hard to deal with after the birth of their baby. He refused. She asked time and time again. One day she woke him up and asked and he answered half asleep and gave the answer she was looking for. She went right out that day and had it bobbed. He was livid. But she pointed out that he had said yes and her sister was the witness. He felt tricked--and rightly so. She deceived him. She felt justified--and rightly so. A person’s body is their own.  If people were just honest with each other, this wouldn’t happen. Deception is a kind of manipulation. What is the point?


  1. I think I have an answer for you my dearest friend. You are confusing the relationship you and Thomas have with what most other people have. Maturity and trust, and though you do play games with each other, you don't play the stupid ones like most people. You also truly rely on each other in a way most people never have to. Living abroad brings a couple together, or destroys them.

  2. Au contraire, Danny...........I think they rely on each other in ways other couples don't want to. H&T are soooo bonded, not just in love, but each other's best and dearest friend.

    I have had those same conversations w/ women acquaintances, Heather, and I too wondered why??? Why the lies? Why the deceit? It seemed so counter productive and sad.