I found just what I was looking for in B&M Bargains. For £4.99 I could have warm, cheerful and festive feet. When we got to the till they rang up as £2.99 so it was an even sweeter deal.
They also have these decorative but slightly impractical testicles on the back.
Edited to add: last night one of my decorative testicles fell off so like Hitler it only has one ball!
"Mrs Cratchit left the room alone -- too nervous to bear witnesses -- to take the pudding up and bring it in... Hallo! A great deal of steam! The pudding was out of the copper which smells like a washing-day. That was the cloth. A smell like an eating-house and a pastrycook's next door to each other, with a laundress's next door to that. That was the pudding. In half a minute Mrs. Cratchit entered -- flushed, but smiling proudly -- with the pudding, like a speckled cannon-ball, so hard and firm, blazing in half of half-a-quarter of ignited brandy, and bedight with Christmas holly stuck into the top."
To paraphrase the words of Tiny Tim, “God bless us(with warm feet), everyone.”