Saturday, 15 October 2016


I had another one of my funky dreams last night.

"No you didn't," Spiderman replied as I was telling him this morning in bed.

But I did.

It was a weird half American/half British dream where it seemed perfectly normal for things to be mixed. It was only on waking and thinking about it that I thought, "That could never happen!"

So the dream:

We were in the car park of a large Tesco Superstore (British) on Highway 28 east, Pineville Louisiana (American).

We had a huge amount of groceries and some small tables and chairs that we had bought and we thought "How will we ever get this home? It is too heavy to carry."

I remember saying to Spiderman, "Why are towns set up so you can't walk everywhere like you can in the UK?" (So I must have known I was in America) and then Spiderman went off to find the freephone that  all British supermarkets have to be able to call a taxi. So we must have been in Britain.

A few minutes later he drove up in a maroon four door car. It was definitely  a right hand drive car so the car was British. I was confused as we haven't driven in over a decade and neither of us have a valid drivers licence, but we did in America so this must be America. I asked where the car came from and Spiderman said:

"I went to the freephone and it was out of order and this bloke asked me if i needed a car. He said he could get me one. Tesco must have a car hire service now. Anyway, I paid him £10 and he came back with a car." The use of the word bloke, the term car hire instead of rent-a-car and the £10 made me think this was now Britain.

I recall thinking, that I had never heard about Tesco's new hire car service before. As we were driving down Highway 28 east, I started to look around and notice that the car seemed strangely lived in. There was a scrunched up McDonald's bag on the floor and a car seat in the back.

I also noticed that there was no key.

"Where's the key? How did you start the car without a key?"

His reply:

"There was no key when the bloke brought it over to me. He told me to be careful and not let it stall out or I wouldn't be able to get it started again."

That seemed perfectly reasonable to me. But suddenly I had a thought:

"Once we get it home, how are you supposed to return the car? Do you have to drive it back to Pineville to return it? How will you get back home again if you can't call a taxi?"

His reply:

"No, don't worry. The bloke said I could just abandon the car anywhere and someone would be round to pick it up."

Something was niggling me, but I just couldn't put my finger on it.

It was at this point in my retelling that Spiderman began to sing Punk Rock Girl by the Dead Milkmen.
You know, the line that goes:
We hopped into a car
Away we started rolling.
I said 'how much you pay for this',
she said 'nothing man it's stolen.'

Then we were pissing ourselves laughing (not literally--we were still in bed) and I never did discover if the dream-me ever figured out that we had just unwittingly stolen a car to take all of our stuff home from the Tesco in Pineville. 

So that was my dream. Spread over two countries, undoubtedly triggered by my Mum and Carl's recent visit. 

Sweet dreams. 


  1. Well, Danny, what did you expect? This is our Spidergrrl we're talking about!! Her muse is her dreams. So many short stories and other writings based on her ability to dream vividly and remember all the details, unlike the rest of us mere mortals!